perhaps one of the best birthday weekends yet. there was just this perfect elegance of balance between self creative exploration and celebratory love that was very nourishing.
there was also an unexpected cathartic emotional release. I feel a huge sense of renewal. the stars and moon were literally aligned. I think I am meant to be here, in my current progression. last of my twenties. I will make it count.
this is my street. where suburbia and mysticism intersect. at least that’s what I tell myself.
this is actually the street I live on. It’s always so tranquil at night. This one time (when I was slightly drunk), I actually laid down in the middle of the street and just stared up at the night sky. I’ve seen people do it in the movie and I wanted to try it myself.
I’m not sure if I would do the same sober, but maybe I had the right idea all along. I really should enjoy my neighborhood a lot more; soak in the sights and sounds around me, instead of being so busy all the dang time.
Alright Howard. Finish strong and then enjoy life. It’s okay to sneak in a few moments here and there, but I’m telling you - once this program is over - I am reflipping on my adventure switch and exploring San Diego like I used to.
Farmer’s Markets, Food Crawls, Bicycling, Lake Miramar, Hiking, Padre’s Game, Photography Days, Comedy Clubs, Improv Team, You name it.
Hm. Just realized I haven’t been nourishing my soul like I used to. No wonder I feel so off balanced, blocked, and out of sorts.
It’s alright though. I will find my groove once again and it will be magnificent.
opps. this is actually a street near my parent’s house. I will post the correct one. Regardless, I took this photo on one of my night strolls to clear my head.
funny. I was just thinking before I plopped into bed if I would recognize myself two years ago, five years ago, a decade ago. I’m not even sure I recognize myself today. There was a moment I felt completely foreign in my own skin, right before I hopped into bed and my body made contact with the mattress. Is this who I want to be? Am I right in myself currently? Everything feels so distant but then again, I feel so purposely distant from everything. I did tell myself to try something new; a new approach to the way I’ve been living life. Still deciding if that’s a good thing.
Oh well. All part of the process.
29 rapidly approaches and yet, I know I want to continuously change my patterns. It’s the only way something new will manifest, right?(Source: streetetiquette, via whatwouldyodo)
when you realize your focus has been skewed, all you can do is accept the misstep, chew on humble pie, and realign yourself with the necessary steps of action.
as strong as my conviction is, the opposite is true. I feel like I am always balancing between the creation of success and the demolition of self sabotage. What then is my true nature? Superman or Bizzaro? Either course of nature would be a constant flux of null point as I am always in a state of making amends or breaking down success.
Creation / Demolition. Creativity / Stagnation. Abundance / Abyss.
I yearn for balance and yet, I have no true consistency as a point of true reference.
Maybe my true nature is of artistic pursuits. However I have yet to find my true outlet. Music? Photography? Writing? Art? Film?
My dreams are always vivid and filled with imagination. I wish there was someway for me to express all that I see during these alternative glimpses into who knows what.
Ok enough Mumbo Jumbo for one night.
I’ve got the Aslan Spirit
(Source: culturetrash, via robdelaney)
who knows?
(via robdelaney)
there comes a point in life where I urge for the process of simplification. simplification, yet depth is what I will work toward.
things that no longer serve me or nourish me in the positive ways of development will have to go.
What am I afraid of? If I start saying “no” to opportunities or friendships that trespass over my boundaries, that I will lose them? Could that really be considered a loss?
No. Those are epic gains.
I believe in abundance and in that regard, I am already filled with an abundance.
No use ruminating over desolate houses that you’ve outgrown. Instead focus on your current path lit by welcoming hearths that you’ve neglected to see.
It is always heartbreaking to me when I need to slowly cut ties with those that I hold dear, but growth and change are inevitable forces of life and I have my own path to follow.
“There’s nothing better than being present where you are and living for an audience of one (as corny as it sounds)”
This was the text sent to me by my friend after I told him I deactivated my FB to simplify my life.
An audience of one. I like that. I think though I will still keep this blog and my instagram. Everything else though will have to go.
let’s see where this simplified present perspective takes me. Thanks T for the inspiration. It’s been a long time coming.
I feel like I’ve fallen on my sword. These few months are going to be hectic. Spring Break was a welcome change but it’s almost as if I stepped into another world. Come tomorrow, back to my busy life in SD.
